METSOTSOANA

 

METSOTSOANA 

[ a moment that made me realise taking my life would've been too soon ] 

This moment.
This moment I just came out of.
For the first time in a long time ,
I have felt free.
I felt released from the shackles of my trauma.

The rain.
Giving me endless kisses as I try to reach my arms out and scream at the top of my chest.
The wind.
Ofcouse enviously smudging every kiss that landed upon my face.

The time.
22:15 and I wondered if the world had been watching me smile.
The air , forcing its way through my clothes , stripping me of the last warmth I had kept for myself.

I was standing at the back of a bakkie.
In clear target for all my enemies who might have wanted to end me.
I felt as though the world owed me more of these moments.
I felt like a butterfly , struggling in the wind yet flying quite high.

The shackles of my pessimistic mindset , were broken as though to let those watching know:

" this is his moment & his moment only ".

This moment I just came out of.
This moment that made wanting to stay alive feel refreshing.
This moment was the turning point.