SLEEP IN PEACE.

 

[ a story of when the monsters come to play at night and I'm alone ] 

3am. 

Loadshedding. 

One candle.

Cellphone Flashlight. 

One pencil.

One page. 

About ten tear drops in.

The page wet , potholes everywhere. 

Every breath making my soul feel dehydrated. 

Every thought creating nightmares for my open eyes. 

Every family member clueless.

Clueless to how the pain has turned into insomnia

Clueless to how every second spent , is a minute that could have been spent screaming.

The world asleep , besides my friends and God up above, probably thinking that I should not worry, everything will be okay. 

It's now 7am.

The world is awake. 

Asking why I look fatigued.

I wish I could explain to them that sleep is for those privileged enough to find peace in their struggles. 

They told me to close my eyes. 

they told me to switch my mind off.

they told me to imagine euphoria & allow the world of dreams to become reality.

they told me that if I were to ever be okay , I need to sleep.

Sleep.

sounds easy , sounds like saying hello to a stranger.

BUT

they kept telling me and telling me,

However they forget to tell me this:

what happens when I can't switch off any part of my mind and my thoughts become a paralysis. 

What happens when my nightmares suffocate me in my imagination yet they choke me so deeply I wake up out of breath.

What happens when the walls in my room become a place of hidden traumas.

WHAT THEN ?

However.

They told me to close my eyes.

They told me to sleep , 

to sleep in peace.