PIECES OF LOVE.

 [I don't need to be fixed, I need to be loved]

I've watched myself love someone who loved a different version of myself.

I've watched them try to mold me into a shape that fit perfectly with them but not with my design.

I've watched the bonds around me breaking and bridges burn because how do I give so much love when there is no receipts for it from their receiving end.

I've acted blind to the malice and deaf to the words that proved that my love was just a cigarette, disposed of once it has been burnt and used up.

I've watched God leave me endless signs and messages but the best response was a blue tick, after all I was giving the love and the signs were obstacles.

I've watched myself go from a corner piece of a puzzle to a center piece to the last missing piece till I found missing pieces in me.

I've watched myself neglect my mind because I genuinely believed my heart created all these emotions that meant I loved them more than I loved myself.

I chose to suffer in silence than to not be loved in absolute chaos. 

A chaos so chaotic, my family became my enemies, whilst the person I love kept digging a knife deeper into my chest, I was bleeding in love.

I tasted the poisonous snake venom and got addicted to it that my body no longer felt the paralysis that came with it but rather I was immune to it. 

They do say we accept the love we think we deserve.

I watched myself eating my insides all the way out to keep giving love to a person who preferred a different version of myself.

I watched myself conform to a checklist of expectations, brown eyes , soft hands and easily manipulated, will believe my lies and still find beauty in my lips.

I watched myself walk away from a love I thought I deserved only to find out that; had I not done that, I would have buried my soul, personality and being in a shallow grave and left all the depth for the soil to flourish from it.

I've watched myself love someone who loved a different version of myself.