A FEW SECONDS.
Crazy to think how someone can really impact your life in a short amount of time. I mean I had not intended to find myself in this situation, but here I am. I have found myself head over heels for the cliché but deeper than the ocean floor for the poets. I have found love at an imperfect place, at an imperfect time with the perfect person. I refrain from saying, I found my better half or the piece that completes me but I have found my best friend and my home in one.
People always say a book that starts with a good-ending, only goes backwards to the horrific, but this book is not going backwards but rather in moments that shook my core in ways I did not think I needed it to. I found love in an exceptional woman, the type of woman seen as a hill to die on. A woman you would do anything and everything for, not one that would just take a bullet for you but would actually die for you.
However, your own shortcomings and mistakes are allowed but not the type to make you lose a woman like her. Some people, bonds, connections cannot be replaced yet somehow we would rather path ways than have the conversation. This woman I tell you about, she is one of my biggest blessings and I wish she knew I love her in any way possible for a human to. We met at a time where we never really thought it would be what it is now. It has extended to horizons we did not measure to, even though we both know it was a mutual manifestation.
Seeing her and interacting for those few seconds, made me shutter my blinds to every other woman there, the heart wanted what it wanted. Those few seconds are the reason why I am in her life today, few seconds and I had already committed myself to a complete stranger. She had that power over me, her energy was very therapeutic, it drew me in. Sometimes I really wish we could see each others hearts and look through each others eye for her to truly understand how she connects the fibers of my body. Her touch alone, sends shockwaves through my anatomy and has me wondering why I have a zoo with butterflies in my stomach, that is in knots and my heart hoping to use them to hang itself because why is it beating this fast?
Those are just a few things of what this woman does to me. I have always feared love because of the hurt. I had no privilege of growing up in a household that showed love. I had to learn and collect pieces along the way, trying to come up with an understanding of it. We all have our perspectives on what it is. My form of love might come with parts that do not fulfil you, come with parts that make your insides quiver, your mind race but the question is are you willing to deal with that?
I am not saying there is no room for change but do you have the patience for that?
Knowing she has been choosing me every waking day, made me feel a sense of belonging, a sense of security. The way she motivates me and believes in me has shown me that some people are in our lives genuinely. In those few seconds, I found her and I hope she found me.
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